More notes from the archives. It was such a crazy time in 2020 and 2021, that I tried to document here and there before I had the blog up and running. I am so grateful, looking back, that I did this. While the short hand might be messy, there was so much happening in the world and I am really grateful that I have these notes from my own perspective. It was the insurrection two days before I gave birth, in a pandemic, and I think these feelings are pretty raw and valid. I had no idea what I was bringing my baby into, and I really did feel like the world was on fire.
Thursday, January 7, 2021 9:58pm
The world is on fire. It’s a global pandemic that keeps getting worse with no end in site, and the United States is at war with itself … the worst I’ve seen in my lifetime. There are two more weeks left in the Donald Trump presidency before Joe Biden and Kamala Harris take office and republican protestors or pro trumpets stormed the senate building and held our congressional leaders hostage now that the republicans have officially lost the majority senate and Mitch McConnel will finally lose his evil thrown. Thanks to Georgia and Stacey Abrams.They are calling it an Insurrection, and I am about to have a pandemic baby.
It’s also, uniquely, the day before you are born my sweet love. I am 39 weeks and 1 day pregnant but officially measuring 40 weeks and you are scheduled to arrive via planned C section at 7:30am at Central Dupage Hospital in Winfield Illinois. It is the place I was born and the place your big brother Bunny was born in a whirlwind of unexpected events.
It has been a long, solitary road to get you here these past 9 months being in lockdown during a pandemic. We won’t be able to have the typical celebrations and fan fare that we had with your siblings and I’m not sure when anyone outside of our family will get to meet you. There’s been covid tests and facemasks and hand sanitizer and lonely appointments by myself.
However, even though we haven’t been able to celebrate you in the typical fashion that we would have liked, you are so loved and so wanted already. Daily your big brother and big sister come up to me and kiss my belly and say hi to you inside. They sing our daily chant “who’s got a birthday coming up! Baby brother baby brother!”. We got plenty of Christmas gifts for you and your daddy and I both got virtual baby showers from work.
You’re my blessing baby, our rainbow in the eye of the storm of the world, and the completion of our family. I have no idea what you will look like— but I cannot wait to see your face and recognize you immediately. I don’t know what it means to be having a pandemic baby during such unstable times, like this “insurrection” but I guess we will find out. I am also so nervous about the actual birth.
Your brother and sisters births did not go well for me and were filled with emergency and trauma and fear … I am hoping you will be our baby that gets to come into this world as peacefully as you possibly can through surgery and help heal us all and bring us the solace we need.
I will write more after tomorrow and we get to witness your full birth story, but today I wanted to put the most positive blessings and good wishes into the air this Thursday evening on the eve of your birth arrival earth side and to tell you how much I love you and can’t wait to hold you on my arms.
Read the birth story post here
Featured Photo: The joy after the storm, my baby boy is born.
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