After my first child, which ended up being an emergency c-section after 3 hours of pushing, and an overall pretty traumatic experience, my body felt like it never recovered. As a first time mom, and never really hearing any other woman talk truthfully about what postpartum was really like, I felt awful. Since I found Mayan Abdominal Massage and the beautiful woman that administers it, my life has been forever changed for the better, and I share it with everyone I know. The women in this network have been the 6 degrees of Kevin bacon, and have connected me to so many people in my village that now supports me year-round, that I have to help spread the word. Mamahood is so hard, but a village really helps make daily life more manageable.
The first few weeks I could barely sit down. My tailbone felt broken, and my scar was so sore. I couldn’t really go to the bathroom normally, and I was pretty much weeping non-stop. After a whole week in the hospital, no support for learning to breastfeed, and being nowhere near family, I felt alone, weak and broken.
For months, things still did not regulate. I bled for almost 12 weeks and no one really told me that this happened for this length of time, and then I didn’t get my period again. I was almost exclusively pumping at this point, as I never got the support or help I needed (and my daughter had unknown to me, undiagnosed food allergies and tongue and lip tie), and I was sweaty and weepy all the time. Months after birth, I still couldn’t be intimate with my husband without feeling like I was being stabbed with a knife. And, I was weepy all the time.
I went and saw my OBYGN, who basically brushed me aside and told me everything was normal, and that I just needed prescription lube. I was then sent back to my primary care physician, who ran tons of blood tests and other types of tests to see if anything was flagged. I had elevated liver enzymes and they wanted to do a screen of my liver, but nothing came up. They then send me back to my OBGYN for a scan of my bladder and uterus. They said there was nothing there. I was then sent back to my primary care doctor, who when asked about anything specific to the female body, squirmed uncomfortably and told me he couldn’t answer those questions and that I had to go back to the OBGYN. He finally sent me to see a gastro to see if they could figure out what was wrong. They wanted me to do a stool sample and then an exploratory colonoscopy. I didnt go back.
Weeks later, frustrated that I was being dismissed at every corner and that no one could tell me what was wrong with me, I found myself at an event with some friends one night at a facility that taught us about lymph drainage and the importance of regularly doing lymph massage. I began chatting with an acquaintance about my ailments and how defeated I was. She asked me if I had a c-section and I said that I did. She told me that she had also, and that months after her c-section, she could barely walk and rotate her leg. She had found this woman, who specialized in women’s fertility and did what was called Mayan Abdominal Massage. After a few visits with her, she confirmed that she had scar tissue from her c-section growing around her upper thigh and that it was almost completely restricting the movement of her leg. She said she knew of women who had received unnecessary hip replacements from doctors for pain, who instead should have been examined for scar tissue from long ago c-sections. She suggested I try going to her, to see if she could tell anything was going on, before I went back to any other doctors, since I wasn’t getting the help that I needed. I told her I would try anything, so I gave her a call.
Incoming, welcome one of the most beautiful people I have ever met in my life, the incredible Krysia, of Kryssage Wellness. The first 90 minute consultation was her sitting down with me in the most beautiful tranquil space. I remember talking to her, and immediately feeling home. Was it her gorgeous Irish accent? Her overall persona and aura and demeanor? The smell and lighting and comfort of the space? All of the above. I remember, on top of completely sobbing and being a blubbering mess, that talking to her was like the first time I had been heard in months. That she was truly listening to me, and validating my feelings, concerns, and hearing my symptoms fully and completely.
At that first visit, is when Krysia also confirmed that I had a prolapsed uterus, and scar tissue that was preventing the elastic tissue from fully pulling my uterus back into the correct place, and that this was most likely, the cause of many of my concerns and symptoms. She also recommended some castor oil packs to wrap in at night to try to release some of the toxins and nasty stuff in my body. After 6 visits with her, I was a new woman. My pain was virtually gone, and I started feeling like myself again. No more hot flashes, and intimacy was much better. THANK YOU WORLD.
I continued to see Krysia as I was preparing to get pregnant again. She saw me through my first miscarriage, and through my entire second pregnancy as I was attempting to VBAC. She recommended a new OBGYN when I was trying to better prepare myself for a successful birth with number two, and he is still by OBGYN to this day, delivering ⅔ kids. I went 41 +6 with my son, and went into labor naturally because of Krysia. I called her completely miserable and she moved mountains to get me in on April 5th. I was in tears, and I walked around her office for a bit before I came in. I remember it started to snow, and I was looking at the water, thinking, I don’t know if I can do this. I went in, and she did cupping therapy and acupuncture, and just helped me relax, exactly what I needed. Early the next morning, my water broke on its own, and I went into labor naturally.
While that birth, again, didn’t go as planned, everything leading up to it did, and that was in a large part, due to Krysia. I have seen her through all 3 of my pregnancies, afterwards postpartum. She has helped me through emotional times, and getting my period back in regulation after three kids with the Yoni Steam Baths. She has treated my dearest friend for digestive issues, she has recommended functional doctors and alternative medicine for my children when I have had no support anywhere else, she led me to answers with my child’s tongue and lip tie connecting me to a dentist that could help me, the list goes on. Not only has this woman been a wealth of knowledge for me, she has become a dear friend whom I love, honestly.
This, along with my Chiropractor, Dr. Jess (blog post here), has really been how my Village has begun. Recommendations from trusted friends and family, or just acquaintances, who have led me to build a group of professionals to support me and my family, but that have also turned into close friends and like-family to me personally. I have really struggled as I have gotten older, like many women, to build my community. Especially because, since having children, my priority and views on things have changed drastically. Before kids, I never would have leaned towards Eastern medicine the way I do now, but now, I see no other way. Western medicine has failed me too many times, and has tried to dismiss almost all of my concerns. I have seen them overmedicate and overprescribe, and wrongly diagnose, and cause interventions more than I would like to admit, and its just not acceptable anymore. I am not saying I am dismissing Western medicine, obviously, with medically complex children with pretty serious breathing issues and feeding issues, that is just not possible, however, I do believe there is a time and a place.
These views have separated me from some loved ones and old friends, that don’t see this side and can’t get behind it. I am also found myself growing further and further away from friends without kids. Not because I want to, or because anything happened or went wrong, but my needs and my time are different, and spent differently. Sometimes it makes me sad to look at the way things have used to be, but mostly I have fond memories and hope that one day our lives cross paths again. And, mostly, my village has changed because of proximity. I moved across the country, abroad, back across the country, and from the city to the suburbs, then even further west in the suburbs, and that has meant being not as close to friends I was once inseparable with. Again, it makes me sad, and I miss them dearly, but it has meant I need to find a new home for myself, and a new community. And, that is hard.
I am so happy that I have been able to find that through this wonderful group of women, who started out as a client – patient relationship, and have blossomed into the most cherished friendships and people in my life today. And, maybe that will change one day, but for now, I hold onto my village tight, and continue to send everyone I know their way.
Are you from Illinois and in the western suburbs neighborhoods of Chicago, or willing to travel? You must must must check out Krysia and all of her services. You can find more about Dr. Jess here too, and in my blog here.
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