A letter to my Bunny Boy. You are 15 months old today. I tell you what, kids grow up too fast. As I sit here rocking you to sleep for your nap, I am feeling nostalgic. Exactly one year ago today I was watching Wimbledon, nursing you home on my maternity leave. Playing in the pool with your sister as I held you tightly in the Solly wrap, your favorite place to be. Those first few months you never left my arms. You are such a big boy now… walking and starting to talk, independent yet fiercely attached to your mama. You love me more truly than I have ever known, I live for you and your sister and love her just as much and different at the same time. Mawmaw explained it best the other day. Pooks is like a cat- independent and strong, smart and agile, and loves to snuggle on her own terms, when she wants it only. She can be prickly and scratch you when you make her mad, but in the end she’s yours and you love her more than anything. You my son, are a dog, lapping affection at every corner, snuggly and loving and true- dedicated and loyal and trusting. You have your one favorite human, and I hope it stays me as long as I can hang on to.
I’m sitting here, horridly uncomfortable with you splayed on my lap, asleep and wouldn’t have to it any other way. And just like that, a memory pops into my brain. I’m stroking your blonde ringlets and I remember. When I was pregnant with your sister, I knew she was a girl. We had done the scans and it was no doubt. I was so excited as I’d always wanted a girl, but I had seen a psychic and she said I was definitely having a son. Now, she didn’t say when or what order, but she said son for sure. And when I was pregnant with her, I would dream of little boys with blonde ringlets. Sometimes twins, sometimes just one. I didn’t know then, but I know now, it was our prophecy. That you were meant to be my little boy. But, I will say it again, kids grow up too fast.
You are the twinkle in my eye even before I knew it. I saw your face even before your sisters. I had a miscarriage right before getting pregnant with you, and in my mind, I know it was you both times. I think we are connected to the most cosmic of powers. Your great grandfather, you, and me. Intertwined together always in life. I love you to the moon and back my sweet angel. Don’t ever change.
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